February 8, 2008

With age comes wisdom

I had lunch with my Granny yesterday. There are very few people that I would rather have lunch with. She is entertaining, full of stories and ADVICE, and most importantly, she won't be around to have lunch with forever! We went to a mexican food place that she picked (surprise!) and it didn't disappoint in being extremely entertaining. I have posted some funny things about Granny before, but I think I should start regular posts sharing Granny's "wisdom" because, really, it just wouldn't be fair to keep it all to myself.

I met Gran at the restaurant where we were to eat. When we appoached the hostess station she asked for our names. Granny's reply, "You mean we'll have to WAIT???" She gave her name, Rita, and the hostess wrote Frida. She quickly corrected the young girl who didn't promptly rewrite the name, and Granny wasn't having that. She spelled Rita twice for her until we all had the name right. Then my grandmother told her, "If ya'll clean some tables we wouldn't have to wait."

Once we were seated, our waiter approached. I am sure he had no idea of the "training" he was about to receive from this 82 year old diner. He asked for our orders and Granny quickly told him that we had no "chips and dip" and that he was suppose to bring those before asking for our orders. Once he fixed this small error, took our orders, Granny and I had plenty of time for talking.

The first topic that we discussed was her closet. She cleaned it out earlier in the week. She was so happy to report that she only got rid of 6 pair of "pedal pushers." All her other stuff, even the stuff she has had for 20 years, is still in great shape AND still in style. Her Alfred Dunner collection, A.D. to those truly in the fashion know, is absolutely timeless and in great condition. No way she is parting with a single piece of it.

Another discussion involved Granny's new piece of furniture. She ordered a new island for her kitchen, which by the way is about a 5x5 room. It came from JCPenney (Penney's) in a crate in a million parts. Granny called a man who lives in her retirement community and offered him $20 to put it together for her. He came over and handed her the instructions to read to him. Apparently, his glaucoma prevents him from seeing small objects. Uh huh, yes, you see where this is going...After 3 hours of the two of them working, they decided to break for the night. He is expected back today to finish the job and will be bringing his SAW!! According to this not-so-handy-man, the parts just don't fit together perfectly like they should. I am a little worried about the finished product, but Gran feels confident that it will be "just right".

Did I mention that it has a spice rack on one end and a cup towel holder on the other??? Well, at least, that is what it looked like in the "Penney's" catalog- which she had to bust out at one point to show her helper what the finished product was suppose to look like.

I love my time with my grandmother. I looked foward to my lunch date with her and was glad that she was able to rearrange her schedule (you think I am kidding) so that we could meet. When I walked through the door of the restaurant and saw her infamous red shoes sticking out from behind the door frame, a big smile came across my face. I have said it before, but I just hope to be as fun as she is when I am in my eighties.

This entry is dedicated to my cousins in California and aunt in Alaska who I know after reading this are missing one little spunky lady. (BTW, when you are big-time like me, you get to start dedicating your writings to people. It just comes with the territory.)


Mandy said...

Thanks for the dedication! OMG this was hilarious...You have to start putting Grannyisms along with Z's commentary! Going to a restaurant with her is never as quiet as one might wish! And that island she bought...can't wait to hear about the finished product!

dixiedo2 said...

This really started my day out on a good note. I laughed so hard. I can picture her being just like this. Keep up the good work.

The Garners said...

What a fun time! I'm so glad that you get to spend time with her. I miss my Great-Grandmother (these stories remind me a lot of her...I wish I could go by her house after my summer job and sit out on her back porch with her again!) Oh, and I think you should just send Z and his garage full of Home Depot tools over to help her finish up that little handyman job--I'm sure he could have it wrapped up in no time!

Robin said...

I don't know why you don't do stand up - but what is scary is this isn't made up stuff but she really says and does this! I love it!

Sunni at The Flying Mum said...

So funny! My great Auntie Lizzy has quite an extensive Alfred Dunner wardrobe as well. It's what all the fashionable ladies are wearing.