September 14, 2007


Today we had some friends over to play for a bit. Regan and Z were riding circles around our house in the hummer. They came to the back yard and told Ashley and I that they saw a snake in the front yard. They were very unconvincing so, in usual mommy politeness, we joined in the "pretend we saw a snake" game. However, after a few minutes they were still talking about the "green and all different shapes" snake in the front yard. This is where the story gets pretty fuzzy, but this is what I recall...

Wearing my adorable summer/fallish dress, cute flip flops, and Nicole Richie sunglasses, I ran to the front yard. On my way by the garage I grabbed a purple (it matched my dress) hoe. I bravely ran around to the side where the kids reported the reptile. This is where I encountered a 6-8 foot venomous serpent. He was looking me right in the eyes and daring me to take a step closer. In the instant before he planted his fangs into me, my maternal instinct kicked in. Because my children, their two buddies, and the rest of the neighborhood, for that matter, were in immediate danger, I heaved my color coordinating hoe at the beast's head. He immediately died and I was a hero for all time!

Now there is another version of this story, but as I said the details were all so fuzzy--I will try to remember how it goes.

Z and his friend Regan reported a snake in the front yard. Because my child is known to make up very elaborate tales, we pretty much ignored them. They continued telling us about the snake, so I reluctantly went around to the front yard to assess the situation, all the while sporting my blurple (kind of blue, kind of purple) mui mui, Target flip flops and obnoxiously large shades. (I couldn't hardly ask my friend to go on the snake hunt--it's not her house [or her snake] and she is preg.) I grabbed Z's hoe out of the garage b/c it was the first thing that I saw and encountering a snake without something in my hands was just not an option. I very slowly walked around to the edge of the house, praying each step of the way that there actually wasn't a snake. That's when I saw that little devil right where the kids had reported. I let out the loudest girl scream and started hacking at that thing like my life depended on it. It was not until he was beyond dead that I noticed he was only 12-18 inches long and probably not all that deadly. Anyway, once I was sure he wasn't going anywhere I ran in the back to report my successful snake killing to Ashley..and she was, oh so proud!

In the spirit of disclosing all the details in this version of the story---let me also say that there is some question as to whether the snake was actually even alive once I got to him because A) he was still in the exact spot that the kids reported and B) he didn't move when I shrieked or even when I started beating him with my weapon.
Either way, I see myself as a true hero: Super Mommy! Maybe the pictures above can help you decide which version you would like to believe. I, for one, have no doubt which tale will go in my permanent memory.


jlg said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!! You're my hero. And I'm for sure going with version A of the story. This snake was probably good practice for those big TX rattlesnakes--yikes!

Anonymous said...

OMG MK! I can't believe you were brave enough to kill the big bad snake that was threatening your fam and friends! Love that you are doing the blog, so we here in california can see the boys grow up! Can't believe how big the boys are getting. Hope to see all of you soon.

Love, Mandy